


Parallels in Divergent Timelines

by Ghostery



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: Discovery, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, Minor Injuries, Mutual Pining, Post-Star Trek: Into Darkness, Time Travel, Transporter Malfunction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:27:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 15,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25520575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ghostery/pseuds/Ghostery
Summary: Spock has a plan to contact the Red Angel, but it quickly goes awry. He beams to an Enterprise that is not his own.Another Spock is waiting for beam up to the safety of the ship during a very bad storm. What will he do when the universe offers him everything he thinks he wants?
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock, Michael Burnham & Spock
Comments: 157
Kudos: 263





	1. Chapter 1

“Spock to Burnham.”

“Burnham here. Spock, why are you whispering?”

“Meet me in transporter room two as soon as possible. Spock out.”

Michael groaned and climbed off her bed. She looked over at Tilly, who was still asleep. Michael yawned, if only her night could be as peaceful. Without turning on the lights, she found her boots and her jacket. With one last longing look at her bed, she headed out to the transporter room. 

She self-consciously patted her hair, hoping it wasn’t too messy as she passed crew on gamma shift in the corridors. Finally, she reached the transporter room, where Spock was waiting, drumming his fingers on the console. That couldn’t be good. 

“Okay, what is it?” She crossed her arms over her chest and put on her best you-got-me-out-of-bed-for-this expression. 

“I have a hypothesis about contacting the Red Angel and I need your help to test it.” 

Curiosity overtook her annoyance and Michael walked over next to Spock and saw lines of equations in a window on the display. “And you think the transporter can help?”

“Yes.”

“How?”

“There is no time to explain. The ship’s course will intersect with an ion storm in 1.53 minutes. The ion storm’s effects are necessary for the test to have a chance of success.”

“An ion storm? Spock, no.”

“The program will run when the ship hits the leading edge of the storm,” Spock said, stepping up on the transporter pad. 

“Spock, an ion storm is too volatile and... are these Lorca’s calculations? These are used to move between universes, it’s not something to experiment with. If the ship will hit an ion storm, I should be on the bridge and you should be in your quarters. Now get off of there.”

“No, Michael. I must do this.”

“No, you must not.” But it was too late, the transporter controls locked and activated. 

“No!” Michael yelled as Spock disappeared from the room. The ship rocked, and she had to hold on to the console to stay upright. The lights in the room signaled a change to yellow alert as Michael righted herself and stood staring, horrified, as the transporter locked and activated again. 

Another swirl of energy left a familiar figure standing on the pad. He listed to the side and tried to step down, but only ended up kneeling on the floor, leaning against the bulkhead. 

Michael stared in horror and said the first thing that popped into her head. “Amanda’s going to kill me.”

* * *

“Transporter room! Scotty, have you got him?” Jim yelled in the general direction of the comm panel on his chair as the ship rocked. 

“Aye, captain. We’ve got him.”

“Great,” Jim said, nearly laughing in relief. “Raise shields. Sulu, get us away from this storm. Fast.”

“Aye, sir.” 

The G-force of the ship going to warp pushed Jim back in his chair for the split second before the inertial dampeners took effect. The viewscreen showed the leading edge of the storm getting farther away from them as they warped away from the planet. 

They had been doing a planetary survey that was so boring Jim had beamed up after an hour, leaving the mission in his first’s capable hands. And good thing he had, because the ion storm they’d been tracking on long range sensors had changed course and speed, barreling straight at them. They’d just got most of the away team back before the storm hit. With Spock they’d had to risk beaming him up through the storm, something Jim knew instinctively was a terrible idea. 

“Er, Captain, would you mind coming down here for a wee moment?”

Jim didn’t need to be asked twice. “I’ll be right there.” He looked at Uhura as he passed, trying to gauge if she wanted to come along. Since Khan, he had been trying to get a bearing on their relationship status, but he had had no success so far. She didn’t look at him, but he swore he saw her muscles tense. With no further illumination, he mentally shrugged and stepped into the turbolift, calling out where he wanted to go. Whatever was going on between Spock and Lieutenant Uhura, the important part was that Spock had stayed in Starfleet, on the Enterprise, with him. 

Someday, he’d believe that. He was sure of it. 

“All right, Scotty, what is it?”

“Well, sir, we got Spock up here all right, but I’m not sure… Look for yourself.” Scotty nodded at the transporter chamber. 

Inside was a Vulcan male, dressed head to toe in black, with messy hair and a beard. He was standing calmly at parade rest, though he moved one hand in front of him and touched the air, which lit up with electricity until he took his hand away. 

“A force field. Am I correct that it is this quick thinking that stopped you from immediately summoning security?”

“Spock?”

“Quite.”


	2. Chapter 2

Michael rushed to the incapacitated man’s side. The resemblance to Spock was unmistakable, and her throat felt tight. She touched the stranger on his shoulder and he looked up at her.

“Michael? What? What are you doing here? Did your ship beam me up?” His head lolled forward again. “It is illogical that Mother will kill you. The dead cannot murder the living.”

Michael gasped. 

“Pike to transporter room, who the hell authorized a beam out?” 

“Captain, intruder alert and medical emergency in transporter room two.”

“Burnham? What? On my way. Pike out.”

“Pike?” the apparent Spock asked. “This dream is singularly cruel.” His weight shifted and Michael found herself in a sort of hug where she was supporting a good deal of his weight. 

Security showed up first, but Michael waved at them to stay back. Spock was barely conscious. She wasn’t sure he’d be able to do much to anyone.

Moments later Dr. Culber and a medical team arrived in the transporter room and Spock was being scanned and gently pried off of her and laid onto a stretcher. 

“This isn’t our Spock, is it?” Culber asked. 

Michael shook her head. “No.” 

“He’s concussed and his saturation is lower than I’d like.” On cue, a nurse put a mask over Spock’s face. “I’m going to take him to Sickbay to run other tests, but as far as I can tell, he’ll get through this all right.” Dr. Culber patted her on the arm. 

The doors to the room opened once again. 

“Commander Burnham, what is going on?” Pike looked down at the stretcher. 

“Spock called me down here. He said he had a way to potentially communicate with the Red Angel that involved the transporter and an ion storm. Before I could stop him, his program activated, and he beamed away. This man appeared in his place.”

“Captain, his biometrics match Lieutenant Spock’s, sir. Although, this one appears to be a commander.” Culber gestured at the stripes on Spock’s sleeves. 

“Get him to Sickbay, Doctor.” Pike said, rubbing a spot over his left eyebrow. “Burnham, with me.”

* * *

Jim didn’t take his eyes off of the interloping Vulcan in the transporter chamber while his hand slapped a panel on the controls. He ignored a disgruntled “oi” from Scotty. “Doctor McCoy report to the transporter room.” 

He closed the comm channel before Bones could answer. 

The stranger was still at parade rest behind the force field. 

“Well, Mister…” 

“Spock, Lieutenant Spock.” 

From the corner of his eye, Jim saw Scotty shoot him an uneasy look.

“Right, Mr. Spock. I am Captain James T. Kirk of the Federation Starship Enterprise.”

This caused Spock to raise an eyebrow. “You are captain? In 2257? Where is Captain Pike?”

Jim took a deep breath. “You knew Pike?” Jim ran a hand through his hair. “Admiral Pike passed away in a terrorist attack.”

A muscle flexed in Lieutenant Spock’s jaw.

“Also, you’re a few years behind the times, laddie.”

The apparent Mr. Spock cocked his head to the side.

“What’s going on Jim?” Doctor McCoy said walking into the room, medical case in hand. Jim gestured to the transporter chamber. McCoy looked over.

“I’ll be damned.” He pulled out his medical tricorder and walked up to Spock. After a minute, McCoy nodded and looked back at Jim. “Well, if you ever wondered what your first officer would look like if he loosened up a bit, here ya go.”

“You mean he’s Spock.”

“Biologically identical.”

“I believe that this is not my home universe, however.”

“You don’t say,” Bones said as Jim let his head fall forward into his hands. 

“Yes, in my universe Captain Pike is and has been captain of the Enterprise for many years. I am his science officer. Number One is his first officer. Captain Pike is on secondment to the USS Discovery. I was conducting an experiment with Discovery’s science officer, but our calculations must have been in error. I believe I may have switched places with your first officer.”

“Right.” Jim sighed and stood up straighter. “Would you please go with Doctor McCoy for a full physical? I’ll have someone get some quarters ready for you.” The force field dropped and Spock followed McCoy out. When the doors shut behind him, Jim turned to Scotty. “Try to find out exactly what happened. I will hold a briefing with the senior staff in two hours.”


	3. Chapter 3

Spock blinked awake to a bright light shining in his eyes. 

“Sorry about that,” a friendly male voice said, and the light disappeared. “Did you know you have a third eyelid?”

Spock’s eyes focused on a man in a white, unfamiliar uniform that bore Starfleet insignia.

“Yes,” he answered. 

“Good, good. I’m Doctor Culber and I’m going to ask you some other questions. What’s your name and rank?”

“Spock, Commander in Starfleet.”

“Do you know where you are?”

“Medbay.”

“Okay. What ship?”

“It is unfamiliar. I am stationed on the USS Enterprise.”

“Who is your captain?”

“Captain James Tiberius Kirk.” Spock heard a small gasp from across the room, but he wasn’t sure why that would be.

“What year is it?”

“2261.”

“All right. Uh, well, you seem coherent enough to talk to the captain. Your injuries were relatively mild, but you may be sore for a couple days. If you have any dizziness, headache, nausea, or blurred vision, I need you to report to Sickbay, okay? Captain, he’s all yours.”

Spock’s stomach lurched at that in a way he could only blame on the apparent head injury. Why it happened a second time when the ship’s captain came into view was beyond him.

“Hello Commander Spock. Welcome to the USS Discovery,” Captain Pike said.


	4. Chapter 4

Jim waited in Bones’ office, head resting on his fist. He’d thought Bones’ exams took forever when he was on the receiving end. He was wrong. Waiting was worse, and he still didn’t have a clue what to say to his senior officers. But he’d figure that out, probably right when he got there. He was good at improvisation. No, his actual problem was Uhura. From his point of view, it’d been very hard to tell that they were together when he knew for a fact that was the case. Since getting back to the ship after Khan, he had no fucking clue. They didn’t seem to hang around each other as much, and the feeling on the Bridge when they were both on duty could be fucking weird in a way it never used to be. But he also couldn’t find a way to ask.

He rubbed at magenta stain on McCoy’s desk with his free hand. Did he assume a relationship and pull her aside privately before the briefing? He checked the pad of his finger, but the stain hadn’t transferred. It was well and truly stuck. Just like him. Just like Spock. He considered what the Jim Kirk who was and should have been would have done. This sort of thing had probably been covered in one of those parental talks he’d never gotten, or maybe in actual command school.

That bastard got all the good stuff.

Something told him to play it safe for once and tell Uhura privately. Hell, she already probably knew enough to assume the worst. Whatever their relationship was, she was still the person on board closest to Spock, even if that made his stomach clench in stupid jealousy to think about. It was still true.

Seriously, that other Kirk got everything.

An interminable amount of time later, Jim was staring blankly at the PADD in his hands, attempting to look busy so he wouldn’t notice the sympathetic looks from the staff as they passed by when Bones finally came in. He dropped the PADD on the desk with a clatter. 

“How is he?”

“Jesus Jim, you look like an expectant father at the birth of this firstborn. Actually, I think I was calmer when my daughter—“

“Bones.” Jim was beyond exasperated.

“All right. The transporter may have messed up, but amazingly it didn’t mess him up. He’s healthy. He’s Spock, a few years younger, and from a different universe. But trust me, he’s still Spock. Although, I outrank this one.” Bones grinned. Jim glared. “Anyway, I’m ready to release him to quarters, if you’ve got a spot for him. One last thing though...”

Jim crossed his arms. “Which is?”

“He’s showing signs of a phenomenon witnessed in Vulcans after Nero destroyed their planet. Something about how Vulcans exert a small psionic influence on each other. A biologically wired in peer pressure which keeps them on an even keel and treading the logical path. You can guess what happened when Vulcan was destroyed.”

“A lot of upheaval. Okay, but what does that have to do with Spock?” 

“This Spock has no connection with the remaining Vulcans. His brain hasn’t been wired back in yet. He may act strangely, and I think this Spock was already screwy in any case. His brain shows recent healing in the area that regulates his sense of time, for instance.”

“So, a funky Spock?” Jim tried to wrap his head around the idea. 

Bones sighed. 

As though that was the cue he was waiting for, Spock entered the room, hands behind his back. The stance was familiar to Jim, but it didn’t fit with the more wild appearance of this Spock. But what the hell did he know? His first officer looked like a recruitment poster, even when he’d gone off the wall. Jim stood up. “Don’t worry, Bones. Come on, Mr. Spock.”


	5. Chapter 5

“The Discovery?” Spock tensed. Pike was dead. He knew that for a fact. Something must have gone very wrong. “You cannot induce me to give away Federation or Starfleet intelligence with such a badly done pantomime of a starship.” Spock saw the imposter Pike turn his head and look at something, or rather someone since the imposter Michael approached his bedside. 

“I take it there isn’t a Discovery where you’re from?” Michael asked calmly. 

“No. Admiral Pike died in a terrorist attack on Starfleet Headquarters. Michael Burnham is the captain of the USS Endeavour, the first ship to take refugees to the New Vulcan colony after the destruction of Vulcan.”

He saw Michael and Pike’s eyes widen in horror and Michael physically recoiled away from the bed before regaining her composure. 

“Holy shit. That’s a lot. Sorry Captain, Commander. I, um, have the results and logs you asked for. Sorry about the language, too,” a woman said. 

“Thanks Tilly,” Michael replied taking a PADD from her outstretched hand.

“That is all common knowledge in the Federation, you have gained nothing.”

“Look, son,” Pike bent down closer to Spock’s face. “I know that this has been… unsettling for you, but I’m not after any intel. In case you hadn’t noticed, I’m a Starfleet captain and I can guarantee my security clearance is higher than yours. However, I appreciate your loyalty.”

“Also, you’re in a different universe. I’m sure you’ll want to check the quantum variances for yourself,” Michael said, handing him a tricorder-like device. It resembled the ones he was familiar with. He was making the assumption that no one had tampered with the device, but it was dawning on him that given what he knew about travel between universes, it was slightly more likely he had traveled rather than being the focus of an elaborate deception. However, it was most likely that this was all a creation of his unconscious and injured mind. Therefore, there was no danger, however, this state of affairs needed correcting. 

The tricorder beeped and showed the expected result.

“You are correct, my quantum signature does not match anything within range.”

“Glad we can see eye to eye on this,” Pike said.

“However, I require meditation.”

“Right,” Pike said, reluctantly. “Ensign Tilly, I assume you assigned Mr. Spock quarters. You and Commander Burnham will escort him there. Mr. Spock, I would like a full report on what you did that landed you here, classified details omitted. Burnham, you, Tilly, and whoever else you need, figure out what the hell our Spock was trying to achieve and what went wrong.”

“Yes sir,” Michael said. “Come on, Spock.”

* * *

The guest quarters on the Enterprise were spacious, luxurious for a vessel of the Constitution-class, and located near the officer’ cabins. The first two struck Jim as wasteful, considering they were almost never used. The ship’s mission was exploration first and shuttling guests forty-seventh. The third feature really depended on who was occupying them. Some guests liked to have the captain hear their grievances at what Jim considered to be oh-dark-thirty. And if Jim had placed Spock in the nearest guest quarters to his, well, no one had pointed that out to him… to his face, at least. 

“Anyway, the facilities are through there. I hope you don’t mind I didn’t give you your counterpart’s quarters. I didn’t think he’d appreciate it. He’s pretty private. Uh, they’re right down the hall, though. So are mine, if you need anything. There’s a nameplate, so you can find it…”

His brain caught up with his mouth and his hands which were miming the shape of the nameplate. In case they didn’t have such things in Spock’s universe? What the hell? He dropped his hands to his sides. Spock… wait did Spock actually look amused? Was that the tiniest of smiles on his face? Jim felt himself go a little weak at the knees. Something that hadn’t happened to him when sober and uninjured since he was fourteen. He reflexively rubbed the back of his neck. He had to get out of here if shit like this was going to happen. Didn’t he have something—something else to do?

Oh shit, he had to tell Uhura what happened. That fixed his hormones.

“Um, I have a briefing to get to, but I’ll check in on you afterward. Don’t forget you have access to the media libraries and if you could remember the equation that landed you here and copy it out so Scotty can have a look, that’d be great.”

“Of course, Captain.” He looked almost smug, for a Vulcan.

“Right, uh, I’ll just see myself out,” Jim said, backing out of the door.

He pressed his forehead against the bulkhead beside the door. “Christ on a bike,” he muttered and then headed for the turbolift.


	6. Chapter 6

“Uhura, could I see you in my Ready Room for a moment?” Jim asked, bracing himself.

“Of course, Captain,” came the professional reply. 

Jim turned and leaned back against his desk, but he said nothing even after the doors shut. 

Uhura crossed her arms over her chest. “How bad is it?” she asked, setting her jaw. 

“Pretty damn bad.”

Uhura gave a jerky nod. Tears welled in her eyes and he panicked. Shit. He’d messed up already.

“We’ll do everything we can to get him back. I promise,” Jim soothed and misfired again. 

“Get who back?” she asked and Jim reeled, recalculating. 

“Spock. Wait, shit. What do you know?”

“Only that there was a transporter malfunction, and they took Spock to medical.” The hard glint in her eyes emphasized the way her voice shook slightly as she spoke.

Jim sighed and ran a hand through his hair. This would take some explanation, and with the staff briefing in fifteen minutes, he’d have to make it quick. 

“So, he’s definitely a Spock, just not the Spock we know,” Jim concluded. Uhura looked oddly blank, and that made him even more nervous. This was the sort of shit that could cause trauma for everyone closely involved, and so help him if he made it worse. He hoped she was just processing. He felt himself sweat with nerves. He knew captains weren’t supposed to quail at anything, let alone dealing with their own crew, but had the people who decided these things know anything about his crew? Nyota Uhura specifically? She was usually very expressive. She had to be to be the Communications officer she was, but sometimes he couldn’t read her at all. Maybe this was why Spock liked her so damn much.

“Thank you for letting me know, Captain. Am I dismissed?”

“Uh, yes?”

“I’ll see you at the briefing then.” And she walked back onto the bridge.

Jim slumped against his desk. Just like everything else today, that had gone better and worse than he’d expected. He wished he could ask Spock what had just happened in this conversation. Had something happened recently between them? He’d probably have to settle for asking Nurse Chapel, and she only gave him the good gossip when the mood struck her. Plus, if he brought her flowers again, Bones and Sulu would go apoplectic. 

Jim didn’t believe in no-win scenarios, but damn if this didn’t feel like one trying to happen.  
  


* * *

“So, what were you doing to end up here?” Michael asked as they traversed through the ship to his temporary quarters.

Spock suppressed a sigh. “As you are aware, Iwill make my report to Captain Pike.”

“Well, I’d like to get my brother back sooner rather than later, if you don’t mind. So I need information.”

“You will have to wait until I make my report and the captain deigns to share its contents with you.”

“Which he will, because I’m Chief Science officer on this ship.”

“As you say,” Spock conceded.

“Also, the captain failed astrophysics, I don’t know how much useful input he’ll have,” Tilly said.

“Tilly,” Michael said.

“Right. Nothing nice. Mouth shut.”

“I will meditate and give my report, but I do not think it would be wise to do so before—“

“Before you meditate. Yeah, I get it, Spock. I’m sure my brother was more at fault, anyway.”

“Yeah, these transporter logs are really weird. I’ve never seen anything like them.”

“As you are an ensign, I’m sure that applies to a great many things,” Spock said.

“Have you ever been held hostage by sentient mycelial spores in their home mycelial network and run into your commanding officer’s dead husband who the spores had regenerated and convinced them to build him a new body via pinky swear?”

Had she breathed in at all when she’d said that? “No,” he answered.

“Well, then it goes both ways, doesn’t it? Oh look, we’re at your quarters.”

She had a point, he supposed. It was still most likely that everything since he’d been beamed off the planet was a figment of his imagination, but it was difficult to believe he’d summon someone like Ensign Tilly or a situation where Michael would be stifling laughter so obviously at his upbraiding by a junior officer under her command. Meditation with the goal of waking to the tender mercies of Doctor McCoy was now the goal… Something he’d never thought he’d wish for.

“Excuse me,” he said, heading inside his quarters.

“See you in a few hours, Spock,” Michael said and he could hear her suppressed laughter.

“Doubtful,” he said after the doors had shut behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this house, we love and respect Nyota Uhura. Just to be clear.


	7. Chapter 7

Jim walked into the briefing room and took his seat before the rest of the senior staff filled in along with the second most senior science officer. He noted Sulu and Chekhov looking at Lieutenant Enders in confusion.

“Where is Commander Spock?” Chekhov asked hesitantly.

“He is unavailable. Something went wrong in transport, which is what we are here to discuss. Scotty, report.”

Jim knew he wasn’t stupid, and he’d taken his share of engineering courses at the Academy. At least, he’d taken every one that had been required and one extra just because the TA had been hot. He’d passed them all, but he couldn’t make head or tails of what Scotty saying. Sulu and Bones looked just as lost, but Chekhov and Enders seemed to follow along just fine. Uhura, well, she looked like she was about to snap her stylus in half, with the way she was wringing her hands around it. He couldn’t blame her. She had to be as upset as he was, if not more so.

“So what you’re saying is that there is a Spock on board, but he’s not the one we know?” Sulu asked skeptically.

“Aye.”

“I guess that must have been in there somewhere. I verified his identity myself,” Bones said.

“I looked at the equation young Mr. Spock sent, but I will need his help to figure out how to use it to switch the Spocks back.”

“You think Spock’s okay then? We can switch them back?” Uhura asked.

“There’s a way and I’ll find it, Uhura,” Scotty said in a tone of voice Jim had only heard him use with the ship’s engines. What was that about?

“Whatever resources you need, Scotty. But I want Security around the labs just in case. We don’t know what kind of universe this Spock came from.”

“You’re having him monitored?” Uhura asked.

“Only in the labs. I want to trust this Spock, but we have to remember that we don’t know him.”

Uhura looked back down at the table. “Right. Yes, captain.”

“Any other questions?” Some shook their heads, but no one spoke. “Okay, good. Dismissed.” Jim got up and made his way to Spock’s quarters.

* * *

Spock opened his eyes and refocused on the flame of the holographic candle in front of him. He was still on Discovery. It was irrefutable, and he did not like it. Furthermore, he was getting hungry. He’d skipped breakfast with Nyota to prepare for the away mission, and by lunch he was fully occupied with his work. While he could go longer intervals between meals, the hunger and head injury were impairing his mind. Also, while one starship was much like another, it would not be prudent for him to wander the corridors, especially before reporting to the apparent Captain Pike.

Therefore, he made his report.

He supposed he was fortunate to have merely been on a routine planetary survey before the ion storm and the transporter malfunction. Really, he didn’t have much to report.

“Spock to Burnham,” he commed after hitting submit.

“Burnham here.”

It surprised him to hear her reply. How far did his comm privileges stretch?

“Would you mind showing me where the food synthesizers are and accompanying me to dinner?”

“Sure Spock, I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lieutenant Enders is named after a college professor who taught some of the most fascinating classes I ever took.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight warning for Emperor Georgiou being, well, Emperor Georgiou.

Jim stood outside Spock’s quarters, convincing himself to ring the chime already. What was with him lately? He was like an insecure teen with a crush. Disgusted with himself, he activated the chime and the door opened. The room beyond the threshold was dark, illuminated only with stars and the artificial flickering of computer-generated candles. Jim’s palms were sweating. Near the windows, Spock was kneeling on a plush area rug. Jim had had dreams that started this way and made him feel awkward at the start of his next shift. Spock turned his head and looked at him.

“Is everything all right, Captain?”

Jim stepped through the doors. “Yeah, everything’s fine, Spock. I was just coming to check on you as promised.” Good grief, he felt awkward.

Spock tilted his head. “Very well. I trust my report to Mr. Scott was helpful?”

“Yeah, he wants you on the team to help.”

Spock nodded and gracefully rose from the floor, unfolding himself into a standing position. Jim’s mouth went dry as Spock’s brown eyes locked onto his. It wasn’t a look he’d ever seen from his first officer, but it was a familiar look.

He had to get out of here for the sake of his sanity. Before he did something stupid. His mouth only got half of the message, however. 

“Uh, look, have you had dinner? I mean, are you hungry?”

“I could eat,” Spock said, and there was that tiny smug and almost amused expression. Jim wasn’t sure if he wanted a record of that expression for posterity or to kiss it off Spock’s face. Oh, shit, when had Spock gotten so close? He was within arm’s reach. Jim swallowed.

“Shall we go, Captain?” Spock asked.

“Yes and, uh, it’s Jim. Call me Jim,” his stupid mouth said as he finally walked out the door.

“Very well,” a slight pause, “Jim,” Spock intoned. 

Goddammit and he only had himself to blame.

* * *

“I read your report to the captain,” Michael said.

Spock raised an eyebrow and speared more of his salad on his fork. They were sitting opposite each other at a table that could seat four. The only other occupants of the room were junior officers huddled over PADDs and cups of coffee and a lone woman, not in a uniform with no visible insignia, looking out the window at the slowly moving stars with a mug in her hands. The group of officers was likely trying to finish their reports, but the woman confused him. 

“I’m surprised you had time.”

“I could have read it five times just on the walk to your quarters.”

“It was a complete accounting.”

Michael nodded and took a sip of her coffee with a grimace. “We have some experience with travel to alternate universes. My brother was trying to do something, we’re not sure what yet, but we know the ion storm that happened in both universes provided the energy and the instability for the transference. We also know it was an accident. There’s an error in his calculations. He expected to be beamed back.”

“I too have some knowledge of inter-universal travel.” As briefly as he could, he explained the origin of his timeline and his older counterpart’s role in it. 

“So, it’s true then, something destroyed Vulcan in your universe,” Michael said, voice flat and eyes locked on the table.

“Along with most of its flora, fauna, and people.”

Michael’s eyes snapped up. “Your family?”

“My mother, yes. Sarek, Sybok, and Michael survived.”

A tear rolled down Michael’s cheek, and she quickly wiped it away. “I’m sorry, Spock. That’s beyond awful.”

“Yes.”

“It appears your fears were unfounded, Michael.” Spock turned his head and saw that the woman not in uniform had approached their table. “I think I would have noticed a planet being destroyed. Usually, I tried to watch.” Something about the smile that accompanied the woman’s words made his blood feel like the ice Doctor McCoy often claimed it was. Without permission, his body shuddered slightly and tried to move away when a finger hooked into his collar and pulled it down.

“Philippa,” Michael said in a warning tone.

The finger disappeared after briefly tugging his collar back into place. 

“So protective. He’s not marked as a hybrid.”

Michael’s eyes went wide. “You had him marked?”

“Yes, permanently, as soon as I cast out his traitorous parents. Although, he was too valuable not to serve the Empire, so long as his loyalties were to his Emperor.”

“You raised him, too?”

“How else could I ensure he was raised with the correct mindset? It was also good for my image on Vulcan. Anyway, carry on. I have other business to attend to.” Philippa said and left. 

Spock looked at Michael questioningly. “She is from another universe as well?”

“Yes, but not the one you’re from, thankfully.”

“Why is she aboard this ship?”

“It’s classified. All you need to know is that I asked her to vet you. We’d have to take steps if you were from her original universe.”

“Yet you allow her to roam free?”

“It’s very complicated. Officially, she’s the Captain Philippa Georgiou of this universe. Stick to that story and you’ll be all right.”

“I see. Captain Georgiou was my sister’s mentor.” 

Michael shrugged, but there was some sadness in her eyes.

“Commander, there you are,” a pale man said. He walked to their table, followed by Ensign Tilly.

“Did you find something?” Michael asked.

“Sort of. You’re not going to like it.”

“Oh, no.”

“Commander Stamets and I found out we can theoretically use the Spore Drive,” Tilly said.

“But that’s good.”

“No, because we shouldn’t use the Spore Drive. I know my first tests were short-range transports, but the drive isn’t set up that way.”

“The adaptation would take years and, uh, I’m not in favor of us hanging around a starbase to get supplies to build a separate unit.”

“Yes, in the current climate, that’s not advisable.”

“You’re wary of Starfleet?” Spock asked.

“Not exactly. So we’re back to the ion storm theory.”

“Pretty much and that’s a crapshoot,” Stamets said. “There’s no guarantee it’ll have the same effect. They’re too random.”

“We’ll figure something out,” Tilly said.

“On days like this, I almost miss prison.”

“But you thrive on challenge.”

“I will have to tell my parents if this continues for too long.”

“Oh yeah, that won’t be fun.”

“Would it be helpful if I am present during the call?” Spock asked, feigning neutrality. 

Michael looked at him critically for several long moments. “Perhaps,” Michael allowed.

“We also have to break our news to Captain Pike and Commander Saru,” Tilly said. 

“So that’s why you found me?”

“What? No, it’s not my fault you’re the science officer.”

“Personally, I was hoping you’d have an idea yourself,” Stamets said. “You’re fantastic at seeing solutions.”

“Thanks, I think. Spock, you should probably sit in on this briefing.”

“Indeed.”

* * *

The room was half-full of officers when Jim walked in with Spock. A hush fell over the room. News had spread already. Jim wasn’t surprised. Chekhov, and to a lesser degree Bones and Sulu, always made sure ship scuttlebutt ran at maximum efficiency. The noise level approached normal as he and Spock stepped up to the food synthesizers. Jim looked at Spock, who was gazing curiously around the room. 

“Something wrong?” Jim asked.

“This Enterprise differs greatly from the one in my timeline,” Spock said as they took their trays and sat at an empty table away from the others in the room.

“What’s it like?”

“Smaller, more buttons, carpets, more colorful.”

Jim’s mind flashed back to hazy half-his memories of another ship in a different time and place. Old Spock’s ship had been like that.

“You serve there?”

“Yes. Do you play chess, Jim?” Spock asked, changing the subject. 

“I have known it to happen.”

“I noticed a set in my quarters, perhaps we could play a game there after we have finished here?”

Jim searched Spock’s face for a moment, feeling for all the galaxy that a trap was being laid. He’d played chess with his Spock dozens of times, but he suspected he would have an even harder time keeping his mind on the game with this Spock.

“Sounds like a plan,” he said, and that tiniest hint of smugness was back on Spock’s face, but this time he schooled his expression quickly. 

“Quite. It has been too long since I’ve played a full game. I find it to be a most stimulating exercise. Don’t you, Jim?”

“Uh, yeah, absolutely, Spock.”

“Speaking of exercise, I don’t suppose my counterpart has taught you Suus Mahna, or similar?”

“Er, no. I asked once. He said Humans were not disciplined enough to undertake the training.”

Spock’s brows furrowed. “He should know that’s not true. You would not be the first Human to train in the art, at least in my universe. Could I evaluate your abilities myself?”

“Sure, you’ll have to go easy on me though.”

“I assure you, I am used to having to go easy on Humans.”

Jim felt like his brain was full of static. What were they talking about again? Chess and sparring? Was he sure about that? Did he want to be?

Perhaps it was only appropriate that his communications officer showed up and cleared out the static with her usual efficiency. 

“May I join you and your guest, Captain?”

“Sure, Lieutenant Uhura, this is Lieutenant Spock. Uhura’s the Communications Officer,” Jim said Uhura took her seat.

“It is an honor to meet you,” Spock said, but a furrow of his brows let Jim know he was… annoyed? He looked at Uhura. What was he expecting? Confirmation? 

Confirmation which he got based on the hurt expression on her face. Well, hell.

“Spock, Uhura, and your counterpart are close, very close and have been for a long time,” Jim said, hiding a wince when Uhura inexplicably kicked his foot. 

“Really?” Spock asked with sharp doubt.

“Yeah, did I hear that Spock’s been teaching you the Vulcan Lyre?” He asked Uhura, who raised an eyebrow at him.

“Oh, yes, for a couple of years now.”

That worked, Jim thought as Spock’s face smoothed into open curiosity. 

“The Lyre is a most challenging instrument, especially for a Human.”

“Believe me, I know. I caused some wincing at the beginning. But I was a ‘most promising student,’” Uhura said.

Jim hurriedly shoved a spoonful of mashed potato in his mouth to hide his expression. Whatever would show would not be good for morale. He squelched the unruly neurons suggesting ‘professor-student’ role-play.

“How did you overcome the limitations of your hearing?” Spock asked.

“Well, it was a good thing that my instructor could hear my mistakes.”

“Do you also play, Jim?” Spock asked. 

Mouth still full of potato, Jim shook his head. He swallowed. “I’m not musically gifted,” he said with an apologetic shrug.

“I’m sure you have other talents, Jim,” Spock said, looking up from under his lashes.

Uhura coughed into her napkin.

“I am good at chess,” Jim allowed.

“Among other things, I’m sure.”

“That’s what some say,” Uhura said. 

“Including you?” Spock asked.

“He’s surprisingly capable captain, especially given what he was like when I met him.”

“Oh?”

“He hit on me and got in a bar fight with a group of cadets.”

“Cupcake started it and he’s a damn good security officer now,” Jim muttered.

“Indeed?” Spock asked Uhura, and Jim got the distinct feeling a storm was gathering.

“Yep, the Captain here was a bit of a scoundrel,” Uhura said, sounding almost fond. Jim shrugged.

“I see. If you will excuse me, I’ll go back to my quarters. Enjoy your meal.” Spock got up.

“We’re still on for chess, right?” Jim asked, and the set of Spock’s shoulders softened ever so slightly.

“Yes, Captain, I will see you later. Lieutenant,” Spock said, nodding at Uhura.

As soon as Spock exited the room, Jim put his head in his hands only to look up at the sound of muffled laughter.

“What’s so funny?”

“He’s jealous,” Uhura gasped between laughs.

“And…?”

“Oh my god, what if he thinks I’m trying to cock block him?” Uhura wondered, breaking out into another peal of laughter.

Bewildered by Uhura’s reaction, Jim excused himself and headed to his quarters to maybe regain his wits before his chess match.


	9. Chapter 9

“You’re sure we can’t use the Spore Drive?” Pike asked for the third time in this briefing.

“Yes, Captain, that’s correct,” Stamets answered.

But Spock was barely paying attention.

In this universe, there was still a Vulcan. In this universe, Amanda Grayson lived. An entire class of cadets, a fleet of Starships, and one of the founding members of the Federation hadn’t been decimated.

If he tried hard enough, he could see the vistas of Vulcan from the mountains outside of Shi Kahr. He could go home.

A face flared through his mind.

This Vulcan would not be the same. The Amanda Grayson here would not be his mother. He knew this on an intellectual level, but the temptation remained. It ebbed and flowed through him with every breath.

Perhaps it was the weight of connection in his head. Now that his injuries had faded somewhat, he could feel the awakening of dormant bonds and the absence of the bond that had been broken and mended once before. In its place was a strange little echo of the powerful bond that had been — and would be again when he returned.

In this universe was t’hy’la. Not exactly his, but also not entirely unlike. A t’hy’la who was an unknown quantity. Another thought struck. What did this mean for his counterpart who would now, most likely, be on the Enterprise? He suppressed the surge of possessive anger before it could take hold, something he had a lot of practice doing. It did not matter. One Spock could not be more appealing than another, surely. On that score, he had nothing to be concerned about.

“Do you have any ideas, Mr. Spock?” Pike asked, and Spock refocused.

“No sir,” Spock answered.

Pike’s brow furrowed. “You don’t have anything to say? That has to be a first.”

Spock did not answer. He noticed Michael looking at him, concern showing in every part of her face. He stared resolutely forward.

“The ion storm may have damaged the area somehow, created a weak spot in space. We could scan and see if it exists? Perhaps we can use that to send Spock back?” Michael suggested.

Pike nodded. “All right, that’s the best lead we’ve got right now. Tilly, Stamets, start racking your brains for anything that might help. Burnham, Saru, see if you find Lieutenant Spock’s error. Owo, go to the sensor lab and start scanning. Detmer, Rhys, Bryce, back to your stations. Spock, go wherever you think you’d be most useful,” Pike ordered.

There was a chorus of assent, and everyone rose to follow orders. Michael shot a look at him that told him to go with her and Commander Saru.

* * *

Jim stepped out of the sonic shower, wrapping a towel around his waist. But any relaxation from the shower quickly evaporated as he removed the stubble of the day.

“What the hell am I doing?”

He looked at himself in the mirror. This wasn’t anything he’d done before a chess game with Spock. Some part of him always insisted on making an effort with his first officer. But this wasn’t his first officer. His Spock was somewhere unknown. Probably the best-case scenario was that he’d switched places with the Spock in the guest quarters.

Right, he would even have to go farther than just through the connecting door. That was a good reminder of who he wasn’t dealing with. Some half-remembered memory made him wary of where this Spock could be from, too. It was something about the beard.

He rinsed his own face clean of cream and tiny hairs and reached for his toothbrush.

There had to be a way to figure out which universe this Spock was from. At least so he could stop worrying about one thing. The irony was, he needed his science officer, and while Enders was good at her job, she had no experience with alternate universes. He would not ask this Spock either. But there was still another Spock he could ask.

He spit and put his toothbrush back before leaving his bathroom, but quickly realized that he should put some clothes on before sending a message. If what he suspected was true, there was no need to be cruel to the old guy.

Which brought him to his next dilemma: uniform or civvies? Oh, what did it matter? Because Uhura said this Spock was jealous, or because he wasn’t sure that this was a pleasant, peaceful Spock? Who was Spock jealous of, anyway? Uhura had implied that it had been her, but while she knew Commander Spock, she knew nothing about Lieutenant Spock.

“Fuck it.” He grabbed his uniform.

Dressed and sitting at his desk, Jim prepared to record and send a message. Ordinarily, he would just call, but they were just out of easy subspace range for that. 

“Ambassador Selek. Hope you’re doing all right. I’m sorry to bother you, but I have a bit of a… problem. Commander Spock is apparently in another universe, and we currently have a Lieutenant Spock, hopefully from that universe. I know you have some experience in this area, so any wisdom, knowledge, anything at all you can think of that can help us with this problem would be greatly appreciated. I have attached a copy of the transporter logs in question. Thank you in advance. Captain James T. Kirk, signing off.”

Jim sighed. That done, he had nothing else to keep him from going to a chess game that was likely to be a trial of his patience.


	10. Chapter 10

“Spock?” Michael called. 

Spock stopped and turned around, letting Michael catch up to him. “Yes?”

“What was that? In the briefing?”

“I do not know to what you are referring.”

“Yes, you do. You were somewhere else entirely.” She held up a hand. “You weren’t paying attention to what anyone was saying.” 

“I may have been preoccupied.”

“Obviously, but by what? I would think you would want to go home as soon as possible.”

“To what home? The Enterprise? The Vulcan colony? I cannot go back to where I was raised or my parent’s home.” Spock walked away in the turbolift's direction that was closest to his quarters. 

Michael paused. Now it was obvious what the issue was. Why would he want to go back home? Hopefully, he had some friends in his universe, but he’d never been good at it as far as she knew. And she, admittedly, did not know the most about her brother in her own universe, let alone a different one. There had to be something she could do, but what? She went in the opposite direction as Spock, heading for the captain’s Ready Room. Maybe he’d have an idea.

However, in the turbolift an idea came to her. Spock had asked to be included on her call to Amanda. That was easy enough. The hardest part was that no one was sure exactly where their Spock had ended up. The best guess was the thankfully-not-mirror universe. That would have potentially been a disaster on both fronts. 

“Can I help you, Commander Burnham?” Pike asked from the entryway to his Ready Room. 

“I need you to tell me if I just had a terrible idea or not.”

“That’s what captains are for.”

* * *

Jim rang the buzzer and Spock greeted him at the door and seemed almost... eager. He supposed that this was as close as a Vulcan could be to eager. The lights were at about half-illumination and the holographic candles were back, providing ample light to play chess. However, it struck Jim as rather romantic. Uhura was on to something. This wasn’t something his... not his... this universe’s Spock had ever done for their chess matches. He’d assumed this was the treatment that Uhura’s lyre lessons got... or maybe not. 

“Would you like some refreshment, Jim?” Spock asked, voice low in a way that made Jim shiver at his own name. 

“Uh, yes, um, some tea would be nice. Thank you.” The choice of tea would have gotten a raised sardonic eyebrow from his first officer. Jim usually went for whiskey or coffee. But the last thing he need was alcohol or caffeine tonight. Jitters or lower inhibitions need not apply. This Spock saw nothing odd, another reminder he didn’t know the Spock he was dealing with. Was that better or worse? 

“Choose your seat,” Spock said as he walked to the food slot. 

Jim took a seat, still debating. Bones’ words came back to him. This was an unbalanced Spock on top of everything else. He wasn’t in his right mind, so it would be wrong to take advantage of that. But he didn’t seem that odd. A little flirty maybe, but Uhura hadn’t thought he was acting weird. She would have said. Maybe this Spock was already being wired into the Vulcan Mind Trust or whatever.? Maybe this was just what Spock was like when he was interested in someone? A sting went through him at that thought. If that was true... then he really didn’t stand any chance with the Spock of this universe... ever. It didn’t matter if he and Uhura had broken up or not. He had equal chances either way. None. 

What would be so wrong about taking up the offer of an interested Spock, then? A Spock who wasn’t acting as erratically as he would have expected from Bones’ warning. Not even close. 

Oh god, was he really... He was really considering this. 

One step at a time, Jim thought as Spock returned with two cups of tea. One step at a time. 

He’d play the best game of chess he could (he doubted any Spock would tolerate less than his best) and take store of his options. 

“Is something wrong, Jim?”

“Wh... No, no. Everything’s fine, Spock.” Jim said, putting on a bright smile. Spock took his seat across from him and moved a pawn. 

Jim took a deep breath. He could do this. 

“When would you like to spar?” Spock asked as he lowered a piece with a click.

“Well, I usually work a divided shift tomorrow, but since the schedule got thrown out the window... I’m free after alpha shift. You should be, too. Unless you stay cooped up in the lab?” Click. 

“After alpha shift is fine. Which lab am I assigned to?” Click. 

“You’ll have to ask Lieutenant Enders and Commander Scott. I usually try to stay hands-off with the Science Department. There’s not a lot I need to manage there.” Click.

“My counterpart is that efficient?” Click.

“Usually, yeah.” Click.

“Fascinating.”

“Check and mate.”

Spock looked down at the board in surprise, his eyes rapidly scanning. Jim could almost see the game being replayed in Spock’s mind. “How?”

“It’s my brilliantly illogical mind. Want to play again?” 

“Yes,” Spock said, resetting the board. 

Jim sipped his tea. 

They played another game.

Jim won again. 

They reset the board and played again. 

Jim won. 

This time Spock damn near growled. 

Oh shit, Jim thought as Spock got up and went around the table to Jim’s side. Before Jim could really process anything else, Spock had him up against the nearest bulkhead, inexpertly kissing the daylights out of Jim. 

Okay, Jim thought, apparently chess is some kind of foreplay to this Spock. At least it was infinitely better than attempted strangulation on the Bridge, though Jim was having almost as much trouble breathing and a far worse time at keeping up with events as he felt Spock’s hand work its way through the opening in his trousers. 

Eventually they made it all the way to the bedroom, but Jim really wasn’t sure when or how they managed that.


	11. Chapter 11

“Incoming message for Spock from the planet Vulcan,” the computer said, pulling Spock from his meditation and destroying most of his progress.

He sighed, he hadn’t felt this well since Nero had exacted his revenge against his counterpart. The feeling of having all of his bonds back in place was breathtaking. He could feel everyone and their calming influence on his mind. All except one. 

Did James T. Kirk not exist in this universe?

Or perhaps t’hy’la bonds could not survive dimensional travel? 

He did not know; no one had ever tested it to his knowledge. His counterpart’s t’hy’la was dead for many years when the split happened and he did not know enough about his adventures when he was with his t’hy’la. 

“Incoming message for Spock from the planet Vulcan,” the computer repeated. 

“Computer accept transmission,” Spock tried, expecting the screen set in the wall to illuminate with an image of his father.

Instead, a life-size blue-toned hologram appeared in the center of the room. The perfectly done minimal makeup, the impeccably coifed hair, the most fashionable Vulcan garb available, the tasteful jewelry… she was unmistakable. His own eyes stared back at him, Human eyes. In the room stood Lady Amanda Grayson, his mother. 

His emotional control shattered.

“Mother?” His voice cracked. For the first time since he was a child, his mother stood in front of him and he desperately wanted a hug and would have allowed—even asked—for one. 

“Hello Spock,” she replied. “Oh, this is harder than I expected. I should have taken a ship to see you, no matter what Sarek said. How are you?”

For a moment he couldn’t speak. “I… I have been better.”

His mother nodded. “Michael told me about what happened. With the transporter and what happened in your universe.” The corners of her mouth pulled down into a small frown. “Spock… I am so, so sorry.”

“I watched you—her die, within arm’s reach and… I couldn’t do anything. I should have been able to do something.”

“If you could have done something, Spock, you would have. I know it.”

“I never told her—I never—“

“I love you, too. No matter what universe you come from, you are still my son. And, in a way, I’m still your mother. There’s no way she didn’t know how you felt. How you feel.”

Spock felt on the verge of collapse. Even with most of his bonds back in place, this was too emotionally compromising. Seeing even a version of his mother was too much. Far too much. 

“God, this is hard,” Amanda said, wiping her eyes. “If you are anything like my Spock, you wouldn’t accept a hug, possibly even now, but I wish I had the option.”

“Spock is a fool, just like I was.”

“He’s proud and Vulcan, just like you. It’s okay to be whoever you want to be, Spock.”

They continued to speak for what felt like forever and only a moment. By the time Amanda signed off, Spock needed to meditate and try to reclaim the bits of his mind that had the conversation scattered around. Strangely, he felt more at peace than he had in... possibly ever. 

As he settled into position and focused on a candle flame in front of him, he still wasn’t sure he could leave this place. 

Was the love of one man worth all of this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EmOtIoNaL cOmPrOmIsE
> 
> Ahem.


	12. Chapter 12

Spock stretched as he woke up, warm, comfortable, and peaceful as he could ever remember being. He almost curled back into the soft mattress and pillows and went back to sleep, but a curse of his half-Vulcan physiology was that once he was awake, there was no ability to go back to sleep easily. He reached out along the bed, expecting to encounter the warmth of Jim next to him, but that side of the bed had grown cold. Stifling his disappointment, he turned to the bond in his head, easy to find as it was the only one that had any strength to it. Every link left was gossamer thin and was hardly enough to make an impact… There it was, Jim was still close by. Listening carefully, he heard the shower going in the nearby bathroom. That suited Spock just fine. He needed to perform his ablutions before he headed out to labs. Getting up, he headed to the bathroom.

* * *

Jim walked in to the Medbay, trying to hide the spring in his step and utterly failing. 

“Good morning, Nurse Chapel,” he said, spotting the nurse busy at her station.

She looked up. “You seem chipper this morning, Captain. What can I do for you?” 

“You can tell me where Bones is,” he said, leaning on her desk.

“He’s in his office. You still know where that is, don’t you?”

Uh oh, he’d annoyed her. She must have been doing something very important. Abandon ship. “Yes, Nurse Chapel, I do. Thanks.”

“Good luck.” And Jim thought he heard, “If I’m right, you’re going to need it.” He turned his head around, but she was back to work already. 

He knocked on the doorframe of McCoy’s office as he walked in. 

McCoy glanced at him, before staring him directly in the eye. “Oh god, you didn’t. Tell me you didn’t.”

“Did what?” Jim asked, sitting down in the chair across the desk from McCoy.

“You don’t think I was your roommate for three years without figuring out what you look like when you got laid the night before, do you? Who was it? If it was anyone in my department…”

“What do you take me for? It’s bad for morale for the captain to sleep with the crew.”

“That leaves… Christ, Jim, you slept with Spock?” McCoy’s eyes were wide.

Jim rubbed the back of his neck. “So what if I did?”

“Jim, he’s got to go back to his own universe at some point and we’ll have Commander Spock back. I don’t think sleeping with his counterpart is the best way to resolve your issues with him. Actually, I know it isn’t the best way to deal with it. That would be to put on your big boy pants and talk to him. But no, you can’t do that, can you?”

“I don’t see why he’d care what I do. He’s never shown a bit of interest in me, ergo, no caring.” Not like this new Spock had. No, nothing like that. There was a lot of concentrated interest aimed right at him from that Spock. Jim was prepared to enjoy every moment.

“Wouldn’t care? No interest? God, with those reasoning skills, no wonder you were a genius repeat offender. You don’t have to listen to me though. I’m sure you’ll find out for yourself, but don’t expect me to feel bad for you when we switch them back and everything blows up in your face.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short one, unfortunately.


	13. Chapter 13

Jim’s back hit the mat hard, knocking the wind out of him. Within seconds, Spock was pinning him down, not giving him a chance to catch his breath. Thinking fast, Jim swung his leg over and threw Spock off of him. 

Spock rolled and Jim got up, both of them assuming a fighting stance. 

“Well done, Captain. It appears my counterpart underestimated you,” Spock said, voice low and rough. He was winded a bit too. Good. “You will find, however, that I will not.”

It would have helped if Jim didn’t keep getting distracted. Memories of that first night and the few nights they’d had together since kept rolling around in his brain and clouding his vision. 

His attraction to people usually got less compromising once his curiosity was sated, but not this time. This time he kept wanting and imagining more, damn the consequences. And there would be consequences when they got Commander Spock back, Jim could feel it. Even though he didn’t understand it. Bones had even felt it a couple of weeks ago in the Medbay. 

Spock lunged, and Jim had to roll out of the way and come back up in a defensive stance. They circled each other for a few moments before Jim saw an opening and attacked. The hit brought Spock to his knees, but Spock’s leg swept out a split second later. With a solid thump, Jim’s back hit the mat, and he was once again pinned under Spock, who looked entirely too pleased with himself for half-Vulcan. Then, Spock lined up their hands in a Vulcan kiss and followed with a Human one and Jim realized they were both hard, and he’d never been more glad to have booked a private sparring room in the gym, one set up to emulate different atmospheric and planetary conditions. Otherwise, he’d have to get creative to get out of here with any shred of dignity intact.

* * *

“You know, almost everyone on this ship has spent time in another universe,” Stamets said, without looking up from his workstation. “I spent time with my counterpart in... well, where we were is complicated and not all that important, but it wasn’t great.”

“Fascinating,” Spock said, not meaning it in the slightest. He had been around Humans for long enough to tell when they were about to give in to moralizing tendencies. Doctor McCoy was fond of such speech. 

“I got lucky, my counterpart was from an awful universe and according to Burnham, he died shortly after he returned to his universe, a victim of a coup.”

“Assuming my counterpart ended up being beamed up to my ship, I assure you that the worst that could happen would be that he is in the brig or confined to quarters. Most likely he is working the same way I am.”

“Well, I hope he’s working harder than you are.”

“I am working as fast as I can.”

“No, no, you’re not. Your counterpart had just had his brain rewired by aliens when he came on board, and he was not a happy camper... Is that even a thing for Vulcans? I’ve worked with a few who were less disgruntled than Lieutenant Spock. Anyway, he still worked more diligently than you are right now.” He put his hand up, stopping any comment from Spock. “And don’t refute me. You know you can do better work. You’re just not.”

Spock said nothing. He couldn’t deny that his mind wasn’t fully in his work. This Spock had so much. He didn’t have a t’hy’la apparently, but he had his intact family, his entire world, and a crew that cared about him, perhaps two crews. 

He had a broken world, a broken family, and a broken t’hy’la who would rather be with anyone but him. He was broken, but he didn’t feel his brokenness as much here in this place. 

“Not going to answer?”

“I was not aware you were asking a question.”

“Right, of course, you weren’t. Well, I’m just trying to say: don’t get comfortable. With or without your help, we’re going to figure out a way to send you back and get Burnham’s brother back. She’s attached to him, you know.”

* * *

Jim’s console was trilling when he walked back into his quarters later that night after the sparring session. 

“Oh, damn it. Computer, play message.”

“Playing message from Ambassador Selek.” 

“Captain Kirk, it is good to hear from you again, though your question is cause for concern. I hope everything is going well on the Enterprise aside from that. The most important thing to find is the quantum variance of Lieutenant Spock. It should differ from everything else your ship has encountered. I have included a formula that has proven useful to issues like this in the past. I hope that it is useful to you. Live long and prosper. Ambassador Selek out.”

Jim found the attached formula and sent it and the instructions to find the quantum variance to Scotty and Lieutenant Enders. 

The door chime rang, and he closed his console down before calling out for the door to open and managed it before Spock got impatient and rang again.


	14. Chapter 14

When Stamets went off duty, Spock left his lab for the one that Michael said she’d be working in for the time being. As the doors shut behind him, he realized she was not there, but Ensign Tilly was. Beside her was a blue-tinged hologram of a young man—a familiar young man, younger than he’d ever seen him outside of his long-ago review of James T. Kirk’s personnel file. But it was unmistakably him. So, he existed in this universe. Was he not t’hy’la to Spock here? Spock wished that more research had been done on t’hy’la bonds, but time, legend, and myth shrouded them. Perhaps he would take up that mantle, at least back in his own universe, and conduct some research.

“So, what? You need my help? Tils, I’m an engineer, not a scientist. I mean hell, my master’s is going to be in security studies, I couldn’t have gotten further away from sciences. I don’t see how I can help.”

“Just stand there and be a good rubber duck, Jim, I just need someone to bounce this theory off of and see if it’ll stick.”

“Nice mixed metaphor.”

Tilly recited her theory and what they’d all been working on since the briefing earlier that day, but with some interesting twists that he had not considered in all the time he’d been working with Stamets. Despite his protests, young James Kirk had no trouble keeping up with what Tilly was saying. 

“Wait, are we dealing with inter-universal travel via transporter here, with the variance being supplied by an ion storm?”

“Uh, how mad would you be if I said ‘yes’?” Tilly asked. 

“I think I’m jaded to all the weirdness of your ship, it just doesn’t have the same sting anymore.”

“But Jim, you’re supposed to be my one normal friend. You can’t just not say something like, “Oh my god, Tilly, we have got to get you out of there,” Tilly said, doing an impression of his voice.

“Oh, I’m concerned. I just think it would take a direct order from Command to get you off that ship.”

“Probably correct on that, but does the theory sound plausible?”

“Only with the ion storm, unfortunately.”

“That’s what I was afraid of.” She pursed her lips. “But… If we can generate enough instability with the warp engines.” She punched some calculations into the console in front of her. “Ah-ha! Jim, you are the absolute best rubber duck, I knew I could count on you.”

“Uh, thanks. I think. I take it this means you’ve got to get back to work now.”

“Unfortunately.”

“Well, tell Michael I’m sorry I missed her and to take care.”

“I will.”

“Love you. Stay safe.”

“Love you, too.” And the connection ended. Was this James Kirk intended for Tilly in this universe? Something in Spock’s katra rebelled at the thought. No, they must be t’hy’la. That was the only option.

With that thought, he stepped into the lab proper and made his presence known. 

“I wondered how long you were going to hide over there,” Tilly said. 

“You knew I was here?”

Tilly shrugged. “The doors make this swooshing sound. It’s kind of hard to miss. Makes being stealthy difficult. Do you want to look over these calculations?”

Spock walked to her and looked. Everything appeared correct and plausible, at least.

“So, what’s Jim like in your universe? I know he made captain, which, I mean, it’s Jim, of course, he did.”

“He grew up with little guidance as his father died soon after Jim’s birth and his mother stayed in Starfleet. He became a repeat offender but eventually accepted Captain Pike’s offer of admission to the academy. There he excelled academically until he cheated on the Kobayashi Maru test. The Academy brought charges against him. However, immediately following, Vulcan came under attack. His subsequent actions, along with catastrophic losses in the fleet, made him the youngest captain immediately after he graduated.”

Tilly shut her mouth where it had hung open during the last of his speech. “Wow, god, poor Jim. He always had George and Winona to rely on. Always. They’ve even been great to me. He cheated on the Kobayashi Maru test, but he got a commendation for it, not a hearing, and Vulcan’s fine. I can’t imagine what he must be like.”

“What is the exact nature of your relationship to him?”

“He’s my best friend. He’s one of the best people I’ve ever met. He was willing to potentially get expelled for fighting when one upperclassman was bothering me. He took me to see Shakespeare and gave me someplace to stay during breaks in school. He’s just… Jim, and he’s amazing. Even Michael thinks he’s got potential, and we had a lot of fun together during our last leave.”

“I see.” It was strange to think of a world where Michael, Tilly, and James Kirk got along well enough to spend leave together. Not that Tilly and Michael didn’t spend leave together. As captain and first officer, they spent a lot of time together, similar to Jim and himself. 

“Is he okay, though? In your universe? Does he have friends? My Jim picks up friendly people like he’s got a static charge.”

“He is well regarded in the fleet. He has friends, although his personality seems to be more abrasive than the Kirk you know. No doubt this is an interesting case study of nature and nurture.”

“I can’t even imagine how weird this must be for you and I had to pretend to be my counterpart from an alternate universe once. I mean, so did Michael and she didn’t get breaks from that until it was over.”

“Elaborate.”

“I can’t, really. Sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“That’s all right, Ensign. I shouldn’t have asked.”

“Any progress?” Michael asked as the doors slid shut behind her. She didn’t seem surprised that he was here. Perhaps she’d spoken to Stamets. 

Tilly filled her in.

* * *

“Hey Spock, how’s it going?” Jim asked as he entered the lab after his turn on the bridge. 

“It is going,” Spock said. “I believe that Mr. Scott’s warp drive theory has merit.”

“Ah, that’s good. You about ready to take a break?”

Spock looked up at him from where he was seated, his eyes dark. Jim swallowed reflexively.

“Yes, I believe I am.”

They walked back to Jim’s quarters. 

“What is your relationship with my counterpart?” Spock asked as the turbolift approached the correct deck. 

“Uh, I think we’re friends, maybe? We work well together as captain and first officer.”

“You do not even know if you are friends?”

The lift doors opened. 

“I think we are. It’s hard to tell. I mean, I can’t even tell if he and Uhura are still together.”

“They were in an intimate relationship?”

“I think so. Like I said, it’s hard to tell where you stand with Commander Spock.”

They approached Jim’s quarters, and he keyed in his access code. 

As soon as they were in, Jim found himself pressed between the bulkhead and Spock’s body. “My counterpart is a fool,” he said before his lips met Jim’s and Spock twined their hands together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you don't know about Rubber Duck Debugging, this must seem pretty weird.   
> I have a whole series on here about Jim and Tilly being friends. If you’re interested you can check my works.


	15. Chapter 15

Jim opened his eyes and stretched a little. His training had him feeling wide awake and ready for anything, but a Communications officer’s voice wasn’t announcing a ship-wide alert over the intercom. There was nothing that seemed to have disturbed the peace of his quarters. Jim looked at Spock, whose eyes were opened. 

“Your console,” Spock said in a sleep-roughened voice. 

“I better check it,” Jim grabbed his robe and threw it on. He always froze after getting out of a warm bed, especially if someone else had provided half the body heat. The console chimed again before he got over there and he heard Spock grunt from the bed and the covers move, presumably as Spock pulled them up to his ears. 

He checked his inbox, and sure enough, there was a message from Scotty. 

Sorry for the late message, but I thought you should see this as soon as possible. I ran Lt. Spock’s quantum variance against the transporter logs and found a match. 

ATTACHMENT 1

On the bright side, I should be able to send him back using the warp engines before the timeline is completely buggered. 

Jim opened the attachment, and his jaw dropped. There was a match. One signature, two instances. Ambassador Selek. Ambassador Spock. Lieutenant Spock and Ambassador Spock were the same person, give or take a century or so. 

Oh dear god, no. Jim looked with fresh horror into his bedroom. 

In a way, he and his counterpart had both fucked the nice old man who had rescued him on Delta Vega. 

How long could he sit here before Spock got suspicious of what was in the message? 

How the hell was he going to look Ambassador Spock in the eye again? 

How the hell did Ambassador Spock look him in the eye, and where could Jim learn that skill? 

And now there was the timeline to consider, and Jim had hated temporal mechanics with a passion. Something about time-traveling Romulans fucking up your entire life from birth could do that to you. 

He was going to have to send Spock back, not just because it was the right thing to do, but because he didn’t know what would happen to the timeline if he didn’t, except that it couldn’t be good. Hell, he probably only existed right now because he was going to go back. Jim’s head throbbed. Time loops could launch themselves out of a torpedo bay. 

And what of this Spock? He hadn’t known a Jim Kirk before he got here. Why didn’t he know more about his counterpart’s timeline? 

He was sure that this was a while before they met. If he concentrated hard enough, he could get a general sense of things, but nothing too concrete. It must have been even longer before they had gotten their acts together. Decades longer, even.

But Spock knew about him? The whole time, maybe? How was he going to get Spock to not mess with the timeline? At least one set of them should have a happy love story, eventually. 

“Is something wrong?” Spock asked, looking at him from the bed. 

Jim said part of the truth. “Scotty found a way to send you back.”

* * *

They tried Scotty’s settings with a standard testing canister first. He wasn’t willing to take chances with any actual Spocks before they worked the bugs out. 

“Spock, can I talk to you for a second?” Jim asked, walking to a corner of the room, away from the prying eyes of the engineers and Bones. 

“Yes, Captain?”

“Not ‘Captain’, but I need you to promise me something and I don’t think you’ll like it.”

Spock raised an eyebrow. 

“Don’t go looking for the Jim Kirk of your universe. Don’t look him up. Don’t try to find him. He’ll find you.”

“How will he do that? He will not be looking for me?”

“He’ll find you. I promise. A Jim Kirk will always find you. Always.”

Spock looked amazingly nonplussed and maybe a little put out by this, but said, “Very well, I promise.”

“We’re all ready if Spock is, Captain,” Scotty said. Jim looked at Uhura, whose eyes were solemn, and then at Scotty and nodded.

Spock stepped on to the transporter pad. “Live long and prosper.”

“Peace and long life,” Jim replied. 

Then he was gone.

* * *

Spock rematerialized in the familiar surroundings of Discovery’s transporter room. 

“Michael, Captain Pike, Commander Saru, Ensign Tilly, Dr. Culber,” Spock said, nodding at each of them. Doctor Culber approached, already scanning, and after a few seconds, he turned his head and nodded at Captain Pike. Spock saw Michael’s posture slump in relief before she regained her usual composure. 

“Well, Spock, you have a hell of a lot of explaining to do,” Pike said, “but it’s good to have you back.”

“Thank you, sir. May I ask what the star date is?”

Everyone else looked at each other nervously before Saru answered.

“Curious,” Spock said.

“What’s wrong? How long were you gone?” Michael asked. 

“Three weeks, five days, nine hours, and forty-seven minutes. Yet I was only gone for three days.”

“Well, that could have been worse,” Tilly muttered to Michael.

“Well, Spock, let’s go have a little chat about transporter regulations in my ready room, shall we?” Pike said.

* * *

Jim held his breath as Scotty worked to get another Spock to rematerialize. It felt like an eternity and a lot of cajoling from Scotty, but finally, it happened. His first officer took shape on the pad. 

“He’s fine, Jim,” McCoy said, and Jim was sure that he and Uhura sighed in relief at the same time. Scotty dropped the containment field and Spock stepped down from the platform. 

“It’s good to have you back, Spock,” Jim said, aiming for his usual joviality. 

“Have I been gone long?” Spock asked. 

“Over three weeks,” Uhura answered. 

Spock cocked his head to the side. “There must be some time differential between the universes. I was only there for three days.” 

“Don’t worry, I’ll fill you in on what you missed,” Uhura said and Jim felt a bolt of blind panic for a split second. She knew. Fuck, shit, damn. Somehow she knew, and she was going to tell Spock. 

Did he have a dedicated ‘got fucked last night face’ or something? Did the entire crew know it? He’d have to ask Bones, but not until after the next shore leave. 

“I hope my counterpart wasn’t any trouble,” Spock said. 

“Oh, I don’t think so, do you, Captain?” Uhura asked, smiling widely at him and he began rearranging the duty roster in his head. One of the best tools a Captain had was vindictive scheduling. 

“Um, no, Lieutenant.” 

“I don’t think he was any worse than any other Spock we’ve encountered,” Scotty said, and Jim knew what he was going to say and tried to figure out how to stop him, but was too late. “Especially since he’s just the younger version of the old one we’ve already met.”

Jim closed his eyes in a prolonged blink, but he could feel Uhura shaking with laughter next to him. 

“You’re joking,” Bones said.

“No, the results were clear,” Scotty said, affronted. 

There’d been a few times in his life when Jim wished he’d get sucked into some sort of anomaly, but this was one time he hoped for it with more enthusiasm. 

Spock merely raised an eyebrow as the boatswain's whistle sounded and Jim slapped the control with complete relief. The instability they’d created with the warp drive was fading, and that’s all the excuse he needed to escape back to the Bridge.


	16. Chapter 16

The first thing Spock did was leave his personal relationship with Jim Kirk out of his report. It wasn’t just that it could interfere with the timeline. It was that it was far too intimate to share. 

He’d gotten so close. Too close. 

It felt like a dream now. A beautiful, wonderful reprieve from the reality where he had to take a phaser and aim it at Doctor Culber and Captain Georgiou so they couldn’t stop Michael from dying. 

Michael who knew Jim Kirk already. And Tilly, who was his friend. 

It was slow torture not to ask endless questions about him. To know if he was like the one in the other universe or not. 

What if he was as different as he could be?

He could be nothing like the sweet, slightly broken man that Spock had given himself to. The one he wanted so badly he wondered if the fever was upon him. 

Could the universe be so cruel? To give him so much, take it away, and give him something inferior. 

Spock’s katra rebelled against the thought. 

How could a t’hy’la — for that’s what their bond must be — be less than the best for him? Only him. T’hy’la had to compliment each other. It was logical. 

He might be a mistake of genetics, but his t’hy’la was an average Human male — above average even. 

When Michael told him to find his opposite, the person furthest from him, as one of the last things she’d ever advise him to do, he thought of Jim. 

Did she think of the Jim Kirk she knew?

But how did he search and stay ignorant? It was impossible. All the biographical information about Jim Kirk was practically in his grasp. 

Except... if there was some parallelism to their universes, then the best place to find James T. Kirk, eventually, was the Enterprise. 

* * *

Captain James T. Kirk beamed aboard the Enterprise at 1100 hours, and Spock immediately tried to reconcile the two men he’d known by that name. Where once had been bright blue eyes and tall, lean stature, there were laughing hazel eyes that made Spock want to be in on the joke for the first time in decades and a well-built, muscular frame several centimeters shorter than himself. There was also quiet confidence in the way he stood, ready to take command of the ship from Pike.

“Permission to come aboard, Captain?”

“Permission granted.” 

They both said the ceremonial words with a somber and dutiful tone, showing the enormity of the handing over of the ship. Spock could just feel the edges of the serious attitude and the tinge of nerves that heightened every emotion Kirk had. 

“I relieve you, sir.”

“I stand relieved.”

Something in Spock was relieved as well with this, and he hadn’t expected that. He hadn’t honestly expected the other Jim Kirk’s words to ring so true. That a James T. Kirk would always find a Spock, no matter what. He knew it in the very depths of his katra. 

Parted but never parted.

Never and always touching and touched. 

In a way he’d never been bound to T’Pring, he was bound to this man. He’d never truly be alone again so long as he lived.


	17. Chapter 17

“Is it just me, or does Spock seem almost resentful of being back?” McCoy asked.

“It’s not just you,” Uhura answered, returning fire.

“Look, can we not talk about this now? Shit! Who knew someone could be that accurate with spears?” 

“We’re talking about this now because you can’t run away from me like you have been doing.” McCoy said. 

“You told me it was a bad idea, Bones, and I did it anyway. You can stop rubbing it in now.”

“That’s not what this is about, Jim. This is about Spock. He’s acting weird.” Jim pulled McCoy down out of the way of a spear that was a little too on target.

“Weirder than usual, at least,” Uhura chimed in. “He’s canceled all my lyre lessons since he’s been back. With no explanation.”

“Sounds definitely strange and suspicious. Maybe you should talk to him, Jim,” McCoy said. “For once in your sorry life.”

“Uhura, is the way back to the shuttle clear?”

“It is now, Captain.” She fired again with a wide spread. 

“Good, let’s move.” Jim pulled McCoy up by his elbow and running back to the shuttle. 

The shuttle doors closed behind them just as the furious natives’ spears rained down on the hull. 

“Can I just point out that we wouldn’t be in this situation if you and Spock were talking to each other?”

“Not in front of the crew, Bones.”

“Why not? It’s not like they don’t know the captain and first officer are on the outs.”

“Bones!”

“Look, let’s get off this rock and I’ll talk to Spock,” Uhura said. “Scotty, any progress with the engines?”

“Aye, I think I can get us out of here, but I don’t know how long it will be until we’re forced to land.”

“Good enough for me,” Jim said. “Come on Scotty, we’ll punch our way through if we have to.”

They had to electrify the hull to get the natives off of it before they could take off. Jim knew by the look on Scotty’s face they had only the slimmest chance of rescue. The readouts told him they would not land in one piece either. 

So, he did the only thing he could and hoped like hell Spock would see his signal. 

Spock did not need Mr. Farris to remind him of the time. A countdown had been running in his mind since they had lost the shuttle craft’s signal. Jim, Nyota, Mr. Scott, and Doctor McCoy were on that shuttle. An illogical and classically Jim crew assignment for such a mission. They were likely dead, based on the reports from the search parties. 

Jim was not dead. 

He could not be. 

Spock knew well the yawning, aching void that opened in his mind when his t’hy’la died. He had felt it. He had kicked, punched, and raged against it. Just as legend said t’hy’la could. 

He had done it all. 

He did not feel it now.

Jim was alive. 

He knew it. 

There he was. A sun-bright flash against the planet. 

“Sir! There! A horizontal flare across the planet,” Sulu said. 

“Lock on to anyone inside the shuttle and beam them aboard.”

“Aye, sir.”

It felt like hours before the transporter room reported a successful beam up of five people, including all senior officers. 

Jim was still there. Always there, even when he wasn’t. 


	18. Chapter 18

Spock walked to his station on the Bridge. Predictably, Lieutenant Enders had changed a few settings to her preference and needs, including her shorter stature. Sighing internally, he set to changing everything back to his profile. He thought about how he would automate the process and how long it would take for the automation to actually save him time. It kept him from thinking about the other universe. His alternate mother. His alternate home planet. His alternate sister. That he had not seen Jim since the day he had arrived back. 

Jim had been on Alpha shift, but Jim had kept Spock on Gamma shift. Spock could not even see him at shift change, with Beta and Delta shifts serving as a buffer. 

No, he could not think about this now. 

He turned his thoughts to his sister. His message was still unanswered. Had he damaged their relationship beyond repair after Khan? Was she just too busy? Had she received it? Was she unduly surprised that he had contacted her first? 

Had Jim really had relations with his counterpart?

No. 

No.

He breathed in deeply. 

It could be any of these options or something else entirely. Even though he could not think of any others… or he did not want to. Away missions could go very wrong. This he knew for a fact. 

A shadow fell over his station. 

“Hello Lieutenant,” he said.

“Really? Lieutenant? Fine, Commander. We’re having a talk after this shift. No more avoiding me.” Her arms were crossed.

“I do not believe you can issue orders to me.”

“You’re going to anyway,” she said, leaning her hip against the edge of his console. “Because you know you want to talk to someone and your sister’s not answering. Unless, well... there’s always Leonard.”

Spock raised an eyebrow. Since when were Nyota and Doctor McCoy on a first name basis?

“You are correct. There is always Leonard.”

“Haha. I’ll be waiting for you after shift change.” She went back to her station.

* * *

Jim ran steadily around the track in the gymnasium. He hadn’t been able to sleep in his quarters and pacing there was just unsatisfactory. Might as well get a workout in.

He wanted to talk to someone about everything, but Bones was full of I-told-you-so’s and Jim couldn’t stand it. He wished he could talk to Old Spock. But Old Spock was the problem, sort of. Because, once upon a time, he’d been Young Spock with a beard and a one-item agenda. 

It had been a fantastic item, but now it was causing problems. 

What was he supposed to do? Call his brother and tell him how he’d fucked up his happy little crew?  


Hell no. 

He’d rather tell the whole Admiralty and have it get back to Sarek. 

Hell, he’d rather just outright tell Sa—no, no, he wouldn’t. 

What was he going to do? Uhura was taking forever to talk to Spock like she said she would and well, he wanted to solve his own problems, dammit. 

Or maybe someone else’s, he thought as Uhura called him to the bridge for a distress signal. 

“Report!” Jim said as he arrived on the Bridge. 

“Distress signal from a Federation colony,” Spock said. The first words they’d said to each other since the day that Spock had come back. 

Naturally, they were about work. 

“Change course for the colony. Sickbay, standby for casualties. Is there any more information, Uhura? 

“No, sir. Just a general automated distress call.” 

“Can we get a visual?” 

“Not yet, sir.” 

There was nothing to do then but wait.


	19. Chapter 19

“Ow,” Jim said, pulling his hand away from the bars and vigorously shaking his hand. “Both bars and force fields? They really don’t trust us, do they?”

“No, Captain,” Spock said from where he was sitting on the only bunk in the small cell. 

“What’s a Federation colony doing with a dungeon like this, anyway?”

“Keeping political prisoners.”

Jim huffed out a small laugh. “I guess that one was obvious. We should plan our escape for when the guard comes back.”

“If the guard comes back.” 

“Gah, you’re so… so pessimistic. They’re Federation citizens, they’ll probably feed us at some point.”

“Possibly.”

“Now you’ve got me doing it. Let’s try hoping for the best. The ship will notice we’re missing and start a search and rescue party. The guard will come back and we’ll make our escape. Hopefully, they’ll give us something transportable to eat that we can take with us, like bread and water.” 

“Yes, sir. I shall try to ‘look on the bright side’ of this situation.”

“How do you make no inflection sound sarcastic?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“There, you just did it again.”

Spock sighed. 

“Sorry, I’m just trying to keep the conversation going. I’m not doing a very good job, am I?”

Spock did not answer, merely stared straight forward from his seat on the bunk. Jim leaned against the rough stone wall next to Spock. 

“Look, I know I’m not on your list of people you want to deal with or talk to, but if we’re going to get out of here we have to act like a team. A command team. The way things were before.”

“I find that to be impossible, we shall have to find a new balance.”

Jim rubbed his brow. “Why did Bones have to be right?” He asked himself.

“What was Doctor McCoy correct about?” Spock asked.

“Do you really want to hear this?”

“Yes.”

“He said that if I had sex with the other you, it would end in disaster. It would torpedo my relationship with you. I thought that was crazy. You’ve never cared who I was with. Why would you? Sure, things might be a little weird, since you know, he was another you, but… It was logical. I wanted him, he wanted me. You never wanted me, I mean, of course, you never did. But he did, although it’s kind of weird talking to the Ambassador now…”

“You thought I would not care.”

“Yeah, but you do care or being in another universe messed with you way more than your report let on. Maybe both?” Jim looked down at Spock, who was now staring at the floor.

“You truly do not understand my regard for you?” 

“What regard? What about Uhura?”

Spock’s head snapped up to look at him. “Lieutenant Uhura and I ended our romantic relationship when you were in the hospital after our battles with Khan. You did not know?”

“No, I couldn’t make heads or tails of your relationship, never could unless you two were kissing on the transporter pad. Did you end your relationship over me? Does that make me a homewrecker? I’ve wrecked a lot of things, but never done that before.”

“It was a mutual and amicable end, but one factor was my regard for you.”

“Huh, and then I ruined everything. Amazing. I’ll never tell Bones just how right he was.”

“No, you did not ruin everything. It would be wrong of me to expect fidelity from an uninformed person with whom I had no romantic ties.”

“Yeah. I can be a great boyfriend, though, just for the record. You can ask Janice… Lester, not my yeoman. Actually, don’t do that. She failed like fourteen ‘Fleet psych evals and Bones threatened to commit her if he ever saw her again. It’s probably best that she forgets about me.”

“I do not want to hear about your past relationships.” Spock stood up and moved in front of where Jim was still leaning on the wall.

“That’s about it really, except for when I was a teen.” Jim shrugged. “It’s not a long list.”

“You had sexual relations with my counterpart because you feared you would never have my attentions?” Spock asked, stepping closer to Jim.

“Yes, that’s the gist of it.” Jim swallowed. 

“You were working from an incorrect viewpoint. However, now that we understand one another, I will test your hypothesis of being a good boyfriend,” Spock said, moving closer and placing one hand near Jim’s head on the wall.

A giddy feeling rushed up from Jim’s stomach. Somehow, he hadn’t ruined everything, and Spock, his Spock, the one he’d wanted for since that hearing (if he was being honest) so long ago was going to kiss him and more than that was wanted to be his boyfriend. Did thirty-somethings still have boyfriends or did they have partners? Jim didn’t care, because Spock was moving even closer and his hand was cupping the back of Jim’s head now and pulling him close. 

Jim’s eyes closed as their lips met and another bout of giddiness overtook him until he realized it was the transporter, locking them into a single beam. The transponders that Bones and Scotty had equipped them with must not have been blocked by the colony.

They materialized on the transporter still locked together and Jim heard Scotty say, “I don’t think we’ll be needing your services, Doctor, looks like everything’s turned out okay.”


	20. Chapter 20

Spock scared the creature back with his torch, waving it with all the energy he could muster, and the creature beat a hasty retreat. He turned around and on the floor of the cave was James T. Kirk. He would recognize him anywhere at any time. His long silent bond hummed with a tiny pulse of energy. But there was something wrong. 

Which he only figured out after he got a better look. 

_“Don’t go looking for the Jim Kirk of your universe. Don’t look him up. Don’t try to find him. He’ll find you.”_

_“How will he do that? He will not be looking for me?”_

_“He’ll find you. I promise. A Jim Kirk will always find you. Always.”_

A Jim Kirk had found him again. The same James Kirk who had found him the first time. 

Well, shit, he thought, borrowing a colorful metaphor from his beloved. How was he supposed to deal with this?


End file.
